Tuesday, April 3, 2018

Giving Up


I had it ALL planned. 
I took a hypnobirthing class with Seth. Learned and practiced hypnobirthing breathing techniques. Had mp3 files to calm me and put me to sleep while pregnant. Then week 36 arrived and the US showed he was breech. I did it all— yoga, chiropractic care (webster technique), pregnant lady inversions using an ironing board. I was desperate to get him turned. Then the night before week 38 my water broke and we went to the hospital. Still breech. 

Ethan was born 4 hours later and it was a whirlwind of a week dealing with his blood sugars , murmur and failed attempts of breastfeeding. I had plans for a serene birth experience, the Golden hour with my newborn son (I didn’t hold him until he was 24 hours old), but God had more important plans for me. I was forced yet again to give up my control over everything that was happening and just trust that I would heal, Ethan would recover quickly and that I would learn once again that I am not in control of this life. 

Thank you Lord for your never-ending, relentless, powerful love for me and Ethan. I look down at my scar and sometimes I am self-conscious, other times I feel strong. It just depends on the day. Thank you Lord for the breath I breathe everyday and for allowing me to wake up on this planet every single morning.

-Jenny
 #ceseareanawarenessmonth #csection #csectionawareness #giveupcontrol #godisgood #godhasbetterplans

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